Barnyard

Me: "Last time I had to tell a class to 'stop making animal noises' I was teaching 6th grade."

Last Day

Student: "Hey Mr., you a great teacher, but I am not going to miss you this summer."

Me: "You're a great student, but I'm not going to miss you either.

Stupid Questions

I'm not sure which is a worse question for the second to last day of class.

"What hour are we in?"

"What is this word?"  *Student points to 'minus'*

Both of these have been asked in a serious manner today.

Almost There

This was written on my board by an unknown student just before they took their final.

Critical Failure

Today I saw a student who had a bunch of red stuff smeared all over her shoulders, chest, and hands.  It almost looked like she took powered Koolaid and rubbed it all over her body.

Student 1: "Girl, what is wrong with you?"

Red Student: "I tired to dye my hair, and it went bad."

Rumored Fight: Part 1

Student: "Hey Mr., did someone punch you?"

Me: "What?"

Student: "Someone said that you got punched by a student a couple weeks back."

Me: "I think I would remember if I got punched by a student."

It is too early.

The worst question to ask a teacher a week before summer vacation.

"So, when do we come back next year?"

I Know I Am Not That Funny

*Student is watching a movie in class*

Student: "Hahahaha!"

Me: *Glare*

Student: "Math is so funny."

The Number Line Slide

Me: "So, when we graph this inequality our arrow points to the right."

Student: "To the right, to the right, to the right, to the right."

Me: "And this inequality has its arrow pointing to the left."

*silence*

Me: "You could have sung the next line to that song right there."

Student: "...."

Purpose

I have this conversation regularly, when people ask me about the blog, but apparently I have not made the purpose of the blog clear.

My classroom is not always a happy/carefree place.  This blog is focused purely on the good things because it is very easy to become jaded.

The profession in general is difficult, and the students I work with have a lot of issues.  Without focusing on the positive I am likely to lose faith in the profession.

Nine Days

*One of the senior math teachers came in to poll students on how stressed they are at the end of the year*

Teacher: "So, what is a source of stress in your life?"

Student: *Points directly at me*

Throwback Thursday

I was reading through emails from my first year of teaching and I found this quote describing my classroom.

"If I had a dollar every time masturbation was referenced (by my students) in class, then I could probably go out drinking 3-4 nights a week."

Be F***ing Nice!

Student 1 (to student 2): "Gimmie some paper"

Student 2: "Gimmie got shot, n****! Ask nicely."

Eco-Friendly

Me: Save those trees, use both sides of your paper.

Student: Why do they have to make paper out of trees?  Why can't they make it out of something like cardboard?

How Do I Internet?

Student: "Can you print off a job application for me?"

Me: "Sure, just send me a message in schoolloop (our grading software) with a link."

Student: "A what?"

Me: "A link to the webpage.  The website address."

Student: "How do I do that?"

Me: "Find the application, copy the link, and send it do me."

Student: "..."

Me: "Do you know how to post an article to Facebook?"

Student: "You mean share something?"

Me: "No, I mean posting something new."

Student: "Not really.  When I was looking at the application earlier it had a lot of options to pick from; how is that going to work on paper?"

Me: "You mean it was an online application?"

Student: "Yeah"

Me: "I can't print that off since it is a website."

Student: "Why can't you print a website?"