The Jerk

Student: "Hey Mr., she just said that you white."

Me: "What?!? You mean I am going to stay like this?"

Improv

One of my students today was writing a one scene play for his acting class.  In one scene there was a plane crash, a voodoo witch and an anaconda.

Swag

*Student wearing a tuxedo shirt*

Me: "That's an awesome shirt."

Student: "That's because I'm awesome."

You Know Me

"Hey Mr., how do you eat your spaghetti?  And don't be playin like you don't know about spaghetti. We all know how you like to play."

Sugar High

"We can't hand out candy at every event.  Pretty soon we are going to be known as the diabetes club."

Wearing My Emotions

When your students tell you, "You don't look well" followed by acting uncharacteristically nice, then it is time to go home.

What? Where?

Student keep inviting me to their sports events, but no one ever remembers where they are or when they happen.  So helpful.

CLICKLCLICKCLICK!!!!

Teacher (to me): "I can tell when you are writing someone up because of the anger in your typing."

Party Time

Student 1: "Is it alright if I stay after school tomorrow?"

Student 2: "I'm staying after tomorrow too!"

Me: "We're going to have a party up in here! Woooo!"

Student 1: "Don't every say that again...."

Appropriate Response

Student 1 (to student 2): "Ugh, what are you wearing."

Student 2: *Middle finger*

Messy By Design

Student: "You should decorate your desk."

Me, pointing to large stacks of papers: "I have..."

It's hard out there for a chalkboard

Student: "Man, I need some chapstick.  My lips are as crusty as a chalkboard."

Me: "Don't be hatin' on my chalkboard."

Student: "Awww you know, even chalkboards have those days."