HELP

Student: "How did you know I needed help? I didn't even raise my hand."

Me: "You were mashing buttons on the calculator, that is a fairly strong indicator."

Explorer

"Dora is life."

99 Problems

I seem to be going for a record to see how many times I can get students to say, "Mr., what is wrong with you?"

Drama

Me: "How's it going?"

Student *throws hands up in the air*: "I'm just taking this one day at a time."

Me: "We are only on day three of this semester."

Priorities

One of my students is wearing a jacket that says "Fries before guys."  She may be my hero for the day.

The Worst

*Survey question: What was the worst movie you saw in 2016?*

Student: "What if I didn't see any bad movies?"

Me: "Then you need to take more risks in life."

Let Down

Student: "Man, if I don't pass this final I am going to become a male stripper crack head prostitute.  I'm goin' to be livin' up under a bridge and stickin' needles in my veins, and shootin' up some crack."