A Degree in BS

Student: "Do you ever get mixed up on this?"

Me: "All the time.  Remember when I corrected myself earlier today?"

Stubborn

Student 1: "Girl, you are not doing that problem right."

Student 2: "Whatever, I know what I'm doing."

Student 1: "Go talk to him! He is going to tell you that you wrong."

*Student 2 walks over to me*

Student 2: "Am I right?"

Me: "Errrrrrrr, no...."

Student 1: "See, now come back over here so I can teach you what's up."

Trash TV

*Student working on a problem for science class*

Student: "Hey Mr., what are three things people use DNA for?"

Me: "You ever watch CSI?"

Student: "Yeah, I got that one."

Me: "You ever watch Maury?"

Student: "Ohhhhhh snap!"

Done With It

Me: "From now on I am no longer answering the question 'what time does class end'.  If you ask me this question I will tell you to ask someone else."

Stupid Questions

I'm not sure which is a worse question for the second to last day of class.

"What hour are we in?"

"What is this word?"  *Student points to 'minus'*

Both of these have been asked in a serious manner today.

It is too early.

The worst question to ask a teacher a week before summer vacation.

"So, when do we come back next year?"

Done...

Achievement Unlocked

Student: "What was your goal as a kid?"

Me: "Probably to play as many video games as possible."

No Questions Please

When we review for tests in class I always make students work problems by themselves for the first ten minutes.  During this time I refuse to answer any questions.

Student: "So how do I work this problem?"
Me: "I will answer that in... four minutes."

*two minutes later*

Student: "Ohhhhhh, that makes so much sense!"
Me: "This is why I don't answer questions for the first part."

My Own Private Nuthouse

Student: "I feel like I am asking a lot of questions."

Me: "Good.  If you guys don't ask questions then I am just going to wander around the room and talk to myself."