Appropriate Dancing

*I hear one of my female students singing 'Let It Go' and look up to see her twerking against a chair. She immediately gets self conscious and stops.*

Me: "Is that how you normally dance to the Frozen soundtrack?"

Student: "Uhhhhh.......    ...yeah."

Screen Watchers

One of my most proud moments as a teacher came today when I made a reference to Goldeneye: 007 and my students recognized it.

"Screen-watching is a valid tactic."

First Year Nicknames: Part 2

Trollolololol

Two of my students have been pestering for me to buy them Chipotle since they had A's for both quarters.  I decided to make a couple of 'burritos' out of some balled up paper and aluminum foil.

The response:

Student 1: "Are you trying to crush our dreams?"

Student 2: "I want my assignments back.  I want to un-submit my work, so I no longer have an A."

Peers

Student: "If we all do good on the final tomorrow can....  Wait.  Nevermind.  I just remembered what class I am in."

Things You Shouldn't Say In Class: Part 3

Female Student on Facetime: "So, why don't you want to go to the strip club with me this weekend?  I got plenty of cash."

*Pulls out a giant wad of ones and holds it in front of her computer screen.*

Mou-llet

I saw a student this morning with the most unusual hair style.  She had taken the majority of her hair and formed two buns slightly off center of the top of her head giving her a Minnie Mouse look.  At the same time the back of her hair was long which made everything look like a very complex mullet.

First Year Nicknames: Part 1

FPS

My students have started playing Call of Duty in their free time at the end of class and after school.  It may have been about 10 years since I was last playing a first person shooter, but I can tell they are terrible.  I am tempted to start playing just so I can beat them all, and tell them to get back to work.

Sometimes they do understand.

Student 1: "Man, I don't want to do all this work."

Me: "I didn't want to come to work today, but here I am."

Student 1: "What? You like coming to work."

Me: "Just because I enjoy teaching does not mean I always enjoy coming to work."

Student 2: "....And listening to you all."

The Walls Are Crying

It is raining outside.  It is raining inside.  This is why we can't have nice things.

Crazy Pills

*Two students are play fighting*

Me: "Alright guys, lets take it to the hallway."

Student 1: "You are going to let us fight out in the hallway?"

Me: "Sure! (Principal) is out there.  We can all have a nice conversation."

Student 2: "Do we get to talk to her before we fight?"

Me: "Nope, I can't have you wasting her time."

*Student 1 sticks his head out the door, and sees the the principal standing in the hallway*

Student 1: "Oh shit! She is actually there!"

Hide and Go Seek

Tell Her I Said Hi

Student: "Hey Mr., You want to facetime my girlfriend?"

Me: "Nah, I'll talk to her later."

Student: "Wait, what!?!"

Pizza Time!

*We are learning about probability and I was going over a word problem about pizza toppings.*

Student: "Oh man, I love pizza.  I saw this movie one time where the delivery man went all the way into this lady's house...."

Me: "You should probably stop talking right there."