Priorities

One of my students is wearing a jacket that says "Fries before guys."  She may be my hero for the day.

Breakfast

Student: "Ewww, a bug!  Why we gotta be dealin' with bugs up in here?"

Me: "Well, if people did leave crumbs from their hot cheetos, we wouldn't have any issues with bugs."

Student: "....Man, thats cold."

You Know Me

"Hey Mr., how do you eat your spaghetti?  And don't be playin like you don't know about spaghetti. We all know how you like to play."

Sugar High

"We can't hand out candy at every event.  Pretty soon we are going to be known as the diabetes club."

Time Traveler

**The bananas from breakfast were bright green**

Student: "Man, why is these bananas so damn green?"

Me: "They are bananas from the future."

Student: "What?"

Me: "Right now, you don't wan to eat them, but in a day or two they will be amazing."

Toppings

There is an ongoing war in my 4th block class between those who believe pineapple goes on pizza and those that believe that pineapple should never be on pizza.  Both sides try to cover my chalk board with their propaganda by the time the bell rings.

Also, none of them can spell pineapple.

Breakfast of Champions

One of my students just walked into class over an hour late with a bag full of corn dogs.  I'm more confused than anything else.

Supplies

Student 1: "I got two burritos in my bag."

Student 2: "..."

Student 1: "I'm not even joking."  *pulls two burritos out of his bag.*

Food Relations

"The amount of ratchet in a bbq place is directly proportional to how delicious it is."

Words Matter

Student 1 (to student 2): "Man, Mexican food tastes like dog food."

Student 2: "That is offensive.  You are comparing Mexican people to dogs."

Student 1: "How is that offensive?  I didn't say that."

Me: "You may not have said those exact words, but your words had that meaning."

Co-Teacher: "I'm wondering how you know the taste of dog food."

*the entire class bursts out laughing at student 1*

Student2: "Now you know how I feel."

Deep Fried Love

Student: "Hey Mr., If you was workin' at burger king and a girl gave you her number after you gave her some onion rings would you go out with her?"

Me: "If the only reason this girl is giving you her number is because you gave her onion rings, then she is probably not someone you want to date."

Student: "What?"

Me: "If you were talking with her, and then you got the number after the the onion rings that would be one thing.   However, if the only interaction was the onion rings, then I would pass."

Value

*A graduated student came to visit his former teachers including myself.*

Student: "Hey Mr., do you like pie?"

Me: "What? Yeah, I guess so."

Student: "My work has these 'Pies in a Jar', and I was thinking about bringing you one."

Me: "Wow, that would be really nice."

Student: "They are $10.99, so they are kind of expensive, but you are worth it."

Trollolololol

Two of my students have been pestering for me to buy them Chipotle since they had A's for both quarters.  I decided to make a couple of 'burritos' out of some balled up paper and aluminum foil.

The response:

Student 1: "Are you trying to crush our dreams?"

Student 2: "I want my assignments back.  I want to un-submit my work, so I no longer have an A."

Pizza Time!

*We are learning about probability and I was going over a word problem about pizza toppings.*

Student: "Oh man, I love pizza.  I saw this movie one time where the delivery man went all the way into this lady's house...."

Me: "You should probably stop talking right there."

Happy Thanksgiving!

Student: "What do you mean, 'White people don't have macaroni and cheese at Thanksgiving."?!?!

*Note: There will be macaroni and cheese this year."

Snack Time!

Two of my students have started selling candy and snacks to other students.  This isn't a random unplanned operation.  They have multiple lunch boxes organizing different types of of food, and now they have even started rolling around a backpack to carry the large volume of food they are selling.

Lunch On the Go

Me: "Are you are eating out of a frisbee?"

Student: "Yeah, you never done this?"

Me: "Nope.  Do you actually play frisbee, or do you just have a frisbee for eating?"

Student: "Naw, I just keep it for eatin'"

Me: "Is that why they call it fast food?"

Candyland

Student: "Mr., can you check my answer?"

*Note: The answer should be 'If ice forms on the sidewalk then it is cold outside.'*

Me: "I'm not sure where you live, but I wan't to live in a place where ice cream forms on the sidewalk."

The Worst Kind of Snack

Student: "Hey Mr., you ever had poop cookies?"

Me: "That sounds disgusting."

Student: "Aww no, they are great.  They have all that white stuff on top."

Me: "You aren't making it sound any better.

Parents

In honor of the start of parent/teacher conferences this week here are some of the parents that I see at EVERY parent/teacher conference session.

There are always free cookies.