Barnyard

Me: "Last time I had to tell a class to 'stop making animal noises' I was teaching 6th grade."

Last Day

Student: "Hey Mr., you a great teacher, but I am not going to miss you this summer."

Me: "You're a great student, but I'm not going to miss you either.

Stupid Questions

I'm not sure which is a worse question for the second to last day of class.

"What hour are we in?"

"What is this word?"  *Student points to 'minus'*

Both of these have been asked in a serious manner today.

Almost There

This was written on my board by an unknown student just before they took their final.

Critical Failure

Today I saw a student who had a bunch of red stuff smeared all over her shoulders, chest, and hands.  It almost looked like she took powered Koolaid and rubbed it all over her body.

Student 1: "Girl, what is wrong with you?"

Red Student: "I tired to dye my hair, and it went bad."

Rumored Fight: Part 1

Student: "Hey Mr., did someone punch you?"

Me: "What?"

Student: "Someone said that you got punched by a student a couple weeks back."

Me: "I think I would remember if I got punched by a student."

It is too early.

The worst question to ask a teacher a week before summer vacation.

"So, when do we come back next year?"