Daytime TV

*Students looking at Facebook*

Student: "This girl, she is the second girl I know to be on Jerry Springer..."

Book Book

Student: "Mr., the online textbook wont load."

*I hand him a physical textbook*

Me: "Try this one.  It loads instantly, and everything is in HD.  No matter how fast you turn the pages there is no load time."

Student: "..."

Redemption

At the end of yesterday I was completely stressed out about students acting like jerks, but my last class of the day completely redeemed themselves.

One of my students in the class is out and obviously flamboyant in the way he acts.  He is also  about 6'4", so he tends to stand out.  Yesterday he arrived late and dressed completely as a woman.  No one batted an eye.  Most students didn't even look liked they noticed, but once we stared with our time for the daily assignment a few of the girls went over to compliment him on his first weave.

Sometimes teenagers can surprise you for the best.

The Real Halftime Show

Student 1: "Who is the football team playing this weekend?"

Student 2: "(Rival School)"

Student 1: "Oh hell yeah!  There always be hella fights when we play (Rival School)!"

Narcolepsy

*As I am walking around one of my classes one of my students stops what he is doing and puts his head down every time I walk by.*

Me: "You ok?  Every time I walk by you fall asleep.  You could have narcolepsy."

Pickles....

Random question for the day: "Mr., do you have any pickles?"

The Limit as Sleep Approaches Distraction

Normally I don't wake people when they fall asleep during a test or a quiz; students should be responsible enough to do that on their own.  Once someone starts snoring all bets are off.