Caffeinated Life

Student 1: "You know he (student 2) is stressed out.  He is drinkin' coffee this morning."

Me: "I drink coffee every morning, what does that say about me?"

Student 2: "You just old"

That's How I Roll

"Hey Mr., Have you ever heard of 'rickrolling?'"

Tragedy

One of my all time favorite students was recently in a car wreck and is currently in a coma. If you have enjoyed my teaching stories I promise that you have heard at least one about this guy. In my first couple of years of teaching he was one who could make me laugh on the roughest of days.

The best description I can possibly give of him is that he was the high school equivalent of Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes. He was spacey, never listened to advice, constantly did crazy things, but you loved him because he had a great heart and he always made you laugh.

His family has set up a Go Fund Me to help cover the medical expenses. Thoughts and prayers are wonderful, but they don't cover medical bills. If you have something extra please help them out.

For the next several weeks I will be drawing comics exclusively about this particular student.

Thanks everyone

**Note: As far as I know this kid did not wear diapers, he just like to say strange things.**

Hair

Student: "Girl, your hair is white girl long."

Don't Read Everything

Student: "What is the name of todays video?"

Me: "Rational Functions colon  Domain.  That is the two dots, not the word colon.

We wouldn't be find the domain of....   I'm not even going to finish that sentence."

**For non-math people the domain of a function is all possible things that can be plugged into a function.**

Conferences

Best line overheard at conferences today.

Parent to student: "You do you.  Otherwise I am going to come up to school and I will do me."

Truth

"We can't tell the students that standardized tests are worthless. That would undermine the entire U.S. Education system."

Repetition

Student: "Why didn't you tell us this earlier?"

Me: "I did tell you this earlier."

*The phrase I have to use with increasing frequency.*

Drinking Fountain Rampage

Before school started this morning I was walking by the drinking fountain.  It apparently was not working properly because the student who pressed the button had a jet of water shoot narrowly past his face and hit the wall behind him.

Light Bulb

One of the most rewarding moments as a teacher is having a student ask to know more and having answers to their questions.

Today I had an interesting discussion explaining Roman numerals and why they aren't used anymore.

Meetings

Teacher 1: "How does a freshman who just transferred to our school end up in my junior level cooking class?"

Teacher 2: *covers eyes and mimes throwing darts*

Drama

The title, "Vortex for all girl drama" is never meant as a compliment.

Picture Day

Announcements: "Everyone should listen up because tomorrow is an important day."

*students listen inquisitively*

Announcements: "Tomorrow is picture day!"

*Collective eye roll*

Announcements: "If you do not get your picture taken tomorrow, then your student ID picture will be used instead."

Student: "Oh, that's just mean...."

Goals

Me: "What are some of the goals you have for the future?"

Student: "I want to be less of a bitch."

Teacher Appreciation

Some days are rough.  Then your co-teacher brings you dirty chai puns and everything is better.

Obvious

Student: "Here's this assignment."  *Everything on the assignment is clearly wrong*

Me: "You need to show your work.  I want to see how you got this answer."

Student: "Oh, ok."

*Student walks away, tears up the assignment and throws it away.*

Stress

Student: "Do you ever get a whole bunch of work you have to do, but you are so stressed out that you don't feel like doing it?"

Me: "Almost every day."

Student: "Really?"

Me: "That never really goes away, but as you become and adult you just get better at dealing with it."

Nobody Cares

Student: "When is teacher appreciation week?"

Me "I'm not really sure.  Most of my students don't appreciate me."