Oops

*One of my students was talking to me about their sister being pregnant.*

Student: "My sister is due in about two weeks so things are getting crazy at our apartment."

Me: "I have several friends with kids, but I now have some friends who are trying to trying to have kids on purpose."

Student:  "What?!?  Why would anyone try to have kids on purpose?!?"

My Favorite Saying

Me (to my students): "I only lie to you all when it is really funny."

Movies

Student 1: "Wait, who is Tom Cruise?"

Me: "He is that dude from Braveheart."

Student 2: "No he isn't, don't lie to us.  He was in Lion King."

The Interwebz

Student 1 (to Student 2): "Where did you hear that, the internet?"

Me: "You can't put anything on the internet that isn't true."

Student2: "Really? So those killer clowns are real?"

Big Purple Dinosaur

Me (to a student):  "Those are some really purple shoes."

Student: "I stole 'em from Barney."

Haterade

*Students watching a video*

Me: "Turn off the sound or put in headphones."

Student: "Man, you a hater."

Me: "Haterade!  That's what I drink for breakfast!"

Student: "Thats too much hatin'."

I Has a Bucket!

At the beginning of the year we were given a new set of supplies in case of a disaster situation.

We were told to bring the bucket containing these supplies with us any time we locked down for a tornado or an intruder situation.

Our training was more of a listing of the objects inside the bucket, but as the objects were listed we slowly realized their purpose.  Duct tape, a tarp, and toilette paper....  "You gave us a poop bucket did you?"

Time Lord

Me: "You want a textbook?"

Student: "Yeah, I been waitin' on this for three four days."

Me: "What are you a time traveler?"

Student: "Well ya gotta do what ya gotta do."

Doin' too much

Student: "Wait, so I have to multiply 6 by 3x AND 10?  That is just too much."

Me: "Life is SO hard..."

Purse In a Management Position

Girl (to another student): "Did you just go through my purse?  You do not go through a pimp's purse!"

100!

Today my blog turns 100 (posts)!

Here is one of my favorite stories from a few years back.

I was up at the board drawing a diagram and one of my student came up next to me and started copying exactly what I was doing.  In general this kid didn't do a whole lot in class, but was a good kid.  Since it was so out of the ordinary for him to be doing anything productive I looked at him and asked, "What the heck are you doing?"  Now I am pretty sure he wanted to say, "Huh?", but as he opened his mouth I could see that it was crammed full of large marshmallows.  My immediate reaction was to ask, "Where did you get all of those marshmallows?!?"  He pointed back to his desk and sure enough there was a bag of large jet puffed marshmallows.

The Fun Students

*A group of students is being loud before class starts*

Student (not in the group): "Man Mr.  It looks like they gave you all the.... fun students this semester."

Me: "Well I guess they give the fun students to the fun teachers."

No help for you!

Me: "I will be here after school if you need extra help."

Student: "What?!? We just started, and its Friday!"

Me: "Ok fine, no one is allowed to come in after school."

No One is Excited for Monday

Me: "You should be working on the problem on the board."

Student: "I should, but I don't want to."

Me: "We all have to do things we don't want to do.  I'm here at work today."

Student: "Yeah, but you like your job.  You like helping students."

Me: "True, but that doesn't always mean I want to go to work."

Problems

Student (singing): "I got 99 problems..."

Me: "But math ain't one."

Throwback

One of the advantages of being out in a trailer my first year was not having to deal with the sewage gas leak in the main building.

And We're Back

After two days of cold related days off I am back in the classroom.

Student 1 to Student 2: "How tall are you?"

Student 2 who is clearly the shortest person in class: " I'm six eight."

Me: "You mean five eight?"

Student 2: "Naw, I'm just slouchin'."