I Can't Get No...

I get a smug sense of satisfaction when my phone calls home arrive before the student does.

Done...

Scrabble

I was really excited today that some of my home room students wanted to play scrabble.  Then I had to go first, and I realized that the only word I could play was "anus".

Less Than Nothing

Student: "Why don't you get your sink fixed?"

Me: "I asked for it to get fixed, but I doubt that it will."

Student: "Why not?"

Me: "Well, that costs money."

Student: "Oh yeah.  Thanks Brownback."

Me: "You just made my whole morning."

Achievement Unlocked

Student: "What was your goal as a kid?"

Me: "Probably to play as many video games as possible."

Throwback Thursday

I haven't done a throwback in a while, but this happened my first year of teaching.

Me: "Why are you copying that assignment?  It isn't going to help you on the test, and it isn't worth enough points to change your overall grade."

Student: "Man, you always tryin' to keep me down!"

Principal: "You need to call yourself a ride _________."

Student: "Man, I got my own ride!"

*Student walks out of school, gets in a car, and drives away.  Student is 15, and barely tall enough to see over the steering wheel.*

Who Are You?