LOUD NOISES!

*Student making a high pitched screeching noise from the hall.*

Me: "What is wrong with people?"

Student: "It sounds like a dying horse."

Me: "How do you know what a dying horse sounds like?  What do you do in your spare time?"

Animals

My first year teaching we had some sixth graders who decided to only respond by making animal noises.  One of our teachers managed to record these animal noises.  We next did what any professional staff would do; we played the recording back at our all staff meeting.  Our meeting inevitably devolved into the whole staff making animal noises as well.

The good ol' days

Things that I miss from my first year of teaching:

Write ups that say, "Monkeys in the zoo would be embarrassed by this behavior."