Time Traveler

**The bananas from breakfast were bright green**

Student: "Man, why is these bananas so damn green?"

Me: "They are bananas from the future."

Student: "What?"

Me: "Right now, you don't wan to eat them, but in a day or two they will be amazing."

Bust a Move

Student: "Hey Mr., you know how to dance?"

Me: "I only work under contract."

Breakfast of Champions

Student 1:  "Man, I can't be eating all this nutritional shit for breakfast.  I'm going to eat my chips..."

Student 2: "Why couldn't we have some Scooby Snacks.  I would have torn up some Scooby Snacks."

Urban Kids

Student 1: "When I graduate, are you all coming to my bonfire?"

Student 2: "What is a bonfire?"

Student 1: "It's like a pool party."

Toppings

There is an ongoing war in my 4th block class between those who believe pineapple goes on pizza and those that believe that pineapple should never be on pizza.  Both sides try to cover my chalk board with their propaganda by the time the bell rings.

Also, none of them can spell pineapple.

Welcome to the Jungle

I'm fairly certain that the courtyard in the center of our school didn't have its grass mowed all summer.  Now there is one guy with a weed whacker who has been out there for hours.

Humid

**The air conditioner was not on over the weekend and this happened first thing Monday morning.**

Student: "Why is it so damn musty up in here?"

Me: "Well it wasn't musty until you all arrived."

Presumption

This week we had the seniors talk to the freshman about how to be successful in high school.  One of the seniors introduced himself as "your future homecoming king."

Feed

Student: "Hey Mr., come be on my live feed."

Me: "I don't want to flood your feed with too many of my fans."

Tardy