Sound of Pain

There is construction happening in our building, and I don't know what they are doing, but it sounds exactly like a dentist's drill.

OWND

Student: "Why do we need to know math?  It isn't like the speed limit is going to be a math equation."

Me:

Names

Student 1: "Hey Mr. (wrong name), could I get some help?"

Me: "Well he is across the hall."

Student 1: "Oh shoot, sorry."

*5 min later*

Student 1: "Could I get some more help Mr. (other wrong name)?"

Me: "Are you just going to call me by the name of every other white guy in our school?"

Student 2: "Who you gonna call him next?"

Student 3: "Clearly Mr. (Other name) is next."

Ye Olden Times

"So Mr., your old, what old-timey things do you remember?"

Plug

*Student pushes my projector cart over to her desk and the cord unplugs from the wall.*

Me: "Where are you going with that?"

Student: "I'm going to plug in my laptop."

Me: "You know that isn't going to work if it isn't plugged into the wall?"

Student: "What? It has to be plugged in?"

Not a Morning Person

Student: "Isn't it true that you should be happy no matter how early in the morning it is?"

Me: "My wife might punch you for making such a statement."

Quizzy Land

Student: "Why do we have quizzes every day?  They shouldn't call this math class, they should call it Quizzy Land."

Me: "I'm going to make a banner for my door.  It is going to say 'Welcome to Quizzy Land!'  Everyone will know where they are from now on!"

Student"..."