Leaky Ceiling

Me: "I wonder if they fixed my leaky ceiling."

Teacher: "I was told not to worry about it and, 'That just happens.'"

Don't Be Late

Party Time

Student: "Hey Mr.! Did you party this summer?"

Me: "Do I look like the kind of person who likes to party?"

Student: "Yeah, I'll bet you party with your geeky friends."

Me: "Fair enough."

Parking

Me: "I'm here to get my parking pass.  I figure after five years of working here I should probably have one."

*Secretary gets a parking pass*

Teacher: "Wait, what is that?"

Secretary: "It's a parking pass, so you can park in the teacher lot."

Teacher: "We have those?"

Secretary: *sigh*

Who Did This?!?!

Student walks in and sees the desks re-arranged for testing.

Student: "What the hell?  When did this happen?"

Co-teacher: "Somehow I think this is all your fault."

Student: "I wasn't even here yesterday."

Me: "So you weren't here to stop this nonsense?  That means it IS your fault."

Rumored Fight: Part 2

Me: "I'm looking for (student)."

Other Teacher: "She isn't here.  I hear that you and her really got into it a while back."

Me: "What?  I haven't seen her in months."

Other Teacher: "Oh, she was claiming that she was suspended for a while because she got into a fight and punched you."

Me: "I would bet money on her skipping school, and then using this as an excuse."

What You Need

Co-teacher: "Do the problem"

Student: "I don't want to."

Co-teacher: "I don't care what you want; do the problem."