A First and Probably a Last

Since so many of my calculators 'wander off' I make students trade me something in order to use one.  When I get my calculator back I return what they traded me.  Most people will trade their student ID or sometimes their backpack.  Today I had someone trade me a handmade wooden cutting board.  I doubt that will ever happen again.

Monday

Student: "Fuck Monday"

* I couldn't agree more.*

Totes Adorbs!

Nothing gets a couple to move away from each other faster than a teacher exclaiming how cute they are

*A couple is starting to make out in the hallway.*

Me (yelling down the hallway):  "You guys wore matching shirts! That is so cute!  Did you guys call each other this morning to coordinate?"

*The students stare at me awkwardly and go in opposite directions.*

Green Team

*The Green Team is our environmental and recycling club.*

Student 1 (to Student 2): "Oh, you are on the green team.  Thats whats up." *puts hand up for a high five*

Student 2: "...."

Student 1: "You just going to leave me hanging?"

Student 2: "You have cooties."

Summer Weather

Student 1: "You know, I was going to wear a dress today, but it would have been too warm to wear with one of my sweaters."

Me: "I had the same problem this morning.  None of my sweaters were clean, and I didn't have anything else that matched my dress.  I decided to wear pants instead."

Student 1: "Hahaha"

Student 2: "You wear dresses Mr.?"

Is it the weekend?

The only thing worse than having to sit through a two hour all school assembly is having to help escort 20 students out halfway through.

Young Love

*Two students arguing in class; acting as if they are going to fight later*

Student 1: "Man, I'll go!  I'll meet you wherever you want!"

Student 2: "Whatever, you ain't gonna show."

Me: "Guys would you plan your date later?  The rest of us are trying to learn."