Time is Relative

Me: "Oh, the clock never got switched over from daylight savings time."

Student: "I thought all the clocks in the school were connected."

Me: "The only thing this clock is connected to is a double A battery."

Clocks

Student 1: "It's 11:11! Make a wish!"

Me: "That happens twice a day.  It isn't really a big deal."

Student 2: "What?  That doesn't happen twice a day."

Student 1: "Are you an idiot?"