Semantics

Me: "Why aren't you taking notes?"

*Student grabs a sheet of paper from someone else's desk*: "I took notes!"

Me: "You took notes from someone else."

Student: "Fair enough."

Finals

Today my students are taking their comprehensive final.  I allow them to have one full sheet of paper with whatever formulas and definitions that they want.  Before school started today I had a student come to me with a very special question.

Student: "Mr., you know the notes from this semester?  Do you have them?"

Me: "Do you mean the videos that we watched?"

Student: "No, the notes you put on the board."

Me: "No.  I erase those after you all write them down...."

Rage

Student: "I don't know how to do this."
Me: "We did this yesterday.  Where are your notes?"
Student: "I threw them away."
Me: "What?"
Student: "Yeah, I throw all my notes away at the end of every day."
Me:"...."