Smart

Announcement: "There is a CSI club meeting this afternoon.  If you want to learn more about what a Crime Scene Investigator does, then you should stop by."

Me: "I hear they investigate crime scenes."

Prepared

*Me passing out papers*

Student: "What is this?"

Me: "A test."

Student: "Oh, shit..."

What? Why?

Student: "What did I miss yesterday? I left early."

Me: "Left early?  You have my class first hour."

Busted

Student 1: "Where is your computer?"

Student 2: "Man, it's busted."

Student 1: "So thats why you aren't watching Netflix in class."

MIA Phone

Student: "Can I go get my phone."

Me: "Where is your phone?"

Student: "This boy has it."

Me: "And where is he?"

Student: "I don't know.  I need my phone.  I was going to ask Ms. (Principal)"

Me: "And what is Ms. (Principal) going to say when you say, 'I need my phone'?"

Student: "Well...."

Me: "Because I can think of a number of things she is going to say, but most of them aren't what you want to hear."

Fire!

A fire drill just went off in the middle of parent conferences.  All of the parents and teachers had to go outside while people figured out what was going on.