Trippin'

Apparently my students have never heard the term 'guilt trip', and they just spend the remainder of class telling each other, "You be guilt trippin."

Things You Shouldn't Say in Class: Part 2

Me: "Did everyone have a good weekend?"

Student 1: "I had a great weekend.  I went to a block party and I got torn up.  We had whole bottles."

Me: "You probably should have just left that at, 'I had a great weekend.'"

Truth

Student: "Girl, you know you trashy if you takin' out yo' weave in class."

Herrrr

Student: "Mr., it's hot in here."

Me: "Kinda like the song?"

Student: "..."

Me: "You can't be so young you don't remember that song."

Test Results

*Phone Rings*

Me: "(Student 1), the nurse wants you to go down and see her."

Student 2: "Looks like those test results are in."

Snacking Problems

Watching students try to take notes while trying not to smudge their paper with hot cheeto dust is hilarious.

Beards

If I haven't shaved for a few days my students tell me that I look like, "a guy that would come after you with a chainsaw."