Loser

Student: "Why do you like teaching here?"

Me: "Because you all are way more interesting than (Neighboring district)."

Student: "Yeah, they are just a bunch of white kids that think they cool.  Were you a white kid thinkin' you cool?"

Me: "I never thought I was cool."

Fictional Conference.

Student: "This is the first time that my teachers haven't had anything bad to say during a parent conference."

Me: "Well I could make up some things if you want..."

Conferences

*Small child crying at parent conferences.*

Me: "That must be a rough conference.  It isn't even about him and he is crying."

Peer Review

*Student on phone*

Me: "Could you hang up your phone and work on your review sheet?"

Student 1: "Why you gotta do me like that?!?! I thought we were best friends!!?!"

Me: "No..."

Student 1: "Whaaaaaaat?  I bought your ticket to go see Madea yesterday!"

Me: "No..."

Student 1: "Ok, so it was Saturday, but you know we besties."

Student 2: "Are you still talking?"

Proper

Student 1 (to student 2): "Man, you are such an asshole."

Co-Teacher: "You can't call him an asshole."

Student 1 (to student 2): "You are nastier than a colon."

ROBOTEACHER

Student: "How do you laugh?"

Me: "I don't.  I never laugh."

Student: "Are you a robot?"

Best Learning

Teacher: "Ugh, I have to go to the worst meeting this afternoon. The presenters just stand their and talk at us for two hours and they get mad if we try and ask any questions."

Me: "Well yeah, that how you are supposed to teach.  I just shout information at my students and expect them to know everything.  Or have I been teaching wrong for the past seven years?"