Peer Review

*Student on phone*

Me: "Could you hang up your phone and work on your review sheet?"

Student 1: "Why you gotta do me like that?!?! I thought we were best friends!!?!"

Me: "No..."

Student 1: "Whaaaaaaat?  I bought your ticket to go see Madea yesterday!"

Me: "No..."

Student 1: "Ok, so it was Saturday, but you know we besties."

Student 2: "Are you still talking?"

Proper

Student 1 (to student 2): "Man, you are such an asshole."

Co-Teacher: "You can't call him an asshole."

Student 1 (to student 2): "You are nastier than a colon."

ROBOTEACHER

Student: "How do you laugh?"

Me: "I don't.  I never laugh."

Student: "Are you a robot?"

Best Learning

Teacher: "Ugh, I have to go to the worst meeting this afternoon. The presenters just stand their and talk at us for two hours and they get mad if we try and ask any questions."

Me: "Well yeah, that how you are supposed to teach.  I just shout information at my students and expect them to know everything.  Or have I been teaching wrong for the past seven years?"

Truth Bomb

Student: "Can you dance like James Brown?"

Me: "Nah."

Student: "Why not?"

Me: "Do you see how pasty white I am?"

Student: "That don't mean nothin'.  You can do anything if you put your mind to it."

Me: "I like the way you think."

Bright Light

Teacher: "I see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I'm not sure if it is a train."

End of Quarter

Student: "Could I go get a drink of water?"

*heard from the hallway*

"I AIN'T FUCKIN' DEALIN' WITH HER BITCH ASS!!!"

*Door slams*

Me: "No, I don't think it's a good time for that."