Questing

Co-Teacher: "I'm sending someone to the bathroom."

Me to Student: "Don't get lost.  If you find a ring that turns you invisible, just leave it there.  Don't pick it up."

I'm Here With a Message...

*Students are getting ready to watch one of my instructional videos*

Student: "What message from 2013 do you have for us today?"

Break

Me: "I am leaving in exactly five minutes.  If you wan't something graded before I leave, then you should probably turn in it now."

Happy Spring Break!

Subjective value

**One of my students tried to trade me a pack of Midol for a calculator**

Me: "I need something valuable for my calculator."

Student: "Oh this IS valuable."

Me: "But not to me...."

Celebration

Me: "Good morning."

Student: "Happy Hanukkah!"

Me: "You are a few months late."

Fake-out

*Student 1 gets his computer to play a noise that sounds like our school bell.  I give him a look that shows I know what he is doing.*

Student 2 takes off his headphones: Is that the bell?

Post Awards Show

Students looking through IMDB: "Man, all these white dudes look the same."