Disturbing Truth

If the hallways are loud, but you don't see anyone, then there is a fight somewhere.

Rumored Fight: Part 2

Me: "I'm looking for (student)."

Other Teacher: "She isn't here.  I hear that you and her really got into it a while back."

Me: "What?  I haven't seen her in months."

Other Teacher: "Oh, she was claiming that she was suspended for a while because she got into a fight and punched you."

Me: "I would bet money on her skipping school, and then using this as an excuse."

Rumored Fight: Part 1

Student: "Hey Mr., did someone punch you?"

Me: "What?"

Student: "Someone said that you got punched by a student a couple weeks back."

Me: "I think I would remember if I got punched by a student."

Girlfights

The severity of any fight can be judged by the amount of weave left on the ground.  This week was particularly bad.

Gangsta' Gangsta' Education

"Mr. _________ went all gangsta' on them!"

*whispered as I removed two students who were fighting from my room.*

Crazy Pills

*Two students are play fighting*

Me: "Alright guys, lets take it to the hallway."

Student 1: "You are going to let us fight out in the hallway?"

Me: "Sure! (Principal) is out there.  We can all have a nice conversation."

Student 2: "Do we get to talk to her before we fight?"

Me: "Nope, I can't have you wasting her time."

*Student 1 sticks his head out the door, and sees the the principal standing in the hallway*

Student 1: "Oh shit! She is actually there!"

Warning Signs

You can always tell that someone is serious about fighting when they start taking of their jewelry and/or glasses.

All I wanted to do was to give a quiz and have a nice relaxing day.

Injury

Student: "This dude was about to fight this other dude on crutches, and the dude on crutches dropped them and ran off.  So, I'm like, 'Damn, what the hell he need those crutches for?'"

Running in to trouble

In my home room this week I had two students pretending like they were going to fight.

One of them says, "Let's take this outside."  They walk outside, close the door, and them immediately run back in with a panicked look on their faces.

I walk outside to find our head principal standing there.

Testing teachers

It seems like every new teacher is 'tested' by their students.  My test was a particularly interesting experience.  I was a skinny white kid working in an urban alternative school.  Many of my students were felons and most of them had spent time in the Juvenile Detention Center.  I was also out in a trailer separate from the main building, so I was cut off from most support.

A couple weeks into school I had two students start threatening to fight.  Desks started getting pushed out of the way and the students were starting to form a circle around the two guys.  I had been told to never jump in between two students because I could get seriously hurt, so I did the only thing that made sense.

Me: "Guys, take it out to the parking lot."
Everyone: "What?"
Me: "Seriously take it out to the parking lot, I don't want you breaking any of the computers in here.  I am going to call in security, but it will probably take them a couple of minutes to get down.  You guys will have plenty of time to get your blows in because I honestly don't expect your fight to last more than 30 seconds or so."
*The entire class is dead silent.  Most students have a look on their face that says, 'This white dude is fucking crazy!'"
Me: "Well if you aren't going to fight sit back down so we can learn some math."

I never had anyone try to fight in my room again for the rest of the year.

Throwback Thursday!

*The sounds of an obvious fight come from the hallway*
Student: "Is that a fight out there?"
Me: "Can't you hear them?  They are so excited about math."
*I stick my head outside to make sure the fight is getting broken up*
Me to my class: "They are all about the polynomials out there."