Gangsta Life

Student: "You like my drawing?"

Me: "What is it?"

Student: "Man, it's a gangsta."

Me: "With a big clown nose?"

Student: "You don't know nothin' about the gansta life."

Let it be known that if I am shot in the near future (two years ago) it was because I called a 'gangsta' a clown.

Zen Teaching

Me: "If you textbook is taking a while to load contemplate the sound of one hand clapping."

Superwoman

One of my students in spinning around in an office chair.

Student 1: "You are going to fall our of that chair."

Student 2: "I'm not going to fall; I'm a superstar."

Giiiiirrrrllll

Student 1: "Man, I'm not comin' to school no more.  We are done!"

Student 2: "Why not, they got free food here?"

Student 1: "Girl, I got food at home.  This school food be triflin'."

Patience

"No, I don't have your final graded an hour after you turned it in.  Go away."

Things You Shouldn't Say in Class

Student: "Does anyone have clean pee?  I need some clean urine.  Someone help me out.  I got $100 for some clean urine."

Class response: "...."

Vocabulary

Student (to another student): "You cuss a lot.  Do you have a high vocabulary?"