Stupid

Every once and a while someone does something so dumb that even the other students say, "Why the hell would you do that?"

Todays event: Showing up to school when you know the police are looking for you.

Disaster Zone

My first to blocks are both freshman and my third block is upperclassmen. Inevitably my room is a complete mess by third block and my upperclassmen ask, "What happened in here?"  My answer is always the same, "Freshmen."

Disease

Normally I don't get anxious about germs but currently my whole class looks on the verge of sneezing out a new organism.  Plus the hallway smells like vomit....

Hello Monday

Me: "For those of you that have been paying attention this assignment should be easy."

Student: "Was that supposed to be funny?"

Me: "Yes, but I am mostly just entertaining myself."

Lights

*There is a thunders storm going on outside and the lights flicker*

Student: "What was that?"

Me: "Mrs. (Principal) forgot to pay the electric bill."

Pants

A student walks into class this morning and the first thing out of his mouth is, "My pants are cold!"

Shaving

When trying to remember the word for a straight razor one of my students came up with the phrase, "That thing that boys shave with to try and feel manly."