V-Day

Student: "Hey, Mr.  Where should I take my girl for Valentines Day?"

Me: "If you really want to impress her then you should try making her dinner."

*I look up some easy recipes for him to try and he thinks about it for a bit.*

Student: "I think I am just going to take her somewhere cheap.  Have you heard of Cap'n D's?"

Animals

My first year teaching we had some sixth graders who decided to only respond by making animal noises.  One of our teachers managed to record these animal noises.  We next did what any professional staff would do; we played the recording back at our all staff meeting.  Our meeting inevitably devolved into the whole staff making animal noises as well.

Shoes

Day two of snow days.  Here is a story from a couple weeks back.



My students love to custom design shoes online.  I must be old because they all look ridiculous.

Student: "Mr. check out these shoes.  Would you ever wear these?"

Me: "Nope"

Student: "What? Why not?"

Me: "Because I would look like Ronald McDonald."

Walk like no one is watching

A student was walking in front of me down the hallway, and he had no idea that there was anyone else around him.  As he was walking he started throwing his hall pass higher and higher into the air.   Eventually the paper got high enough into the air where the shape of the paper caused it to flutter towards the wall.  In a valiant effort to catch the paper before it hit the ground the student slammed himself into the locker and ended up on the floor.

Once he realized that I was watching him; I couldn't control my laughter.

Oops

*One of my students was talking to me about their sister being pregnant.*

Student: "My sister is due in about two weeks so things are getting crazy at our apartment."

Me: "I have several friends with kids, but I now have some friends who are trying to trying to have kids on purpose."

Student:  "What?!?  Why would anyone try to have kids on purpose?!?"

My Favorite Saying

Me (to my students): "I only lie to you all when it is really funny."

Movies

Student 1: "Wait, who is Tom Cruise?"

Me: "He is that dude from Braveheart."

Student 2: "No he isn't, don't lie to us.  He was in Lion King."