The Interwebz

Student 1 (to Student 2): "Where did you hear that, the internet?"

Me: "You can't put anything on the internet that isn't true."

Student2: "Really? So those killer clowns are real?"

Big Purple Dinosaur

Me (to a student):  "Those are some really purple shoes."

Student: "I stole 'em from Barney."

Haterade

*Students watching a video*

Me: "Turn off the sound or put in headphones."

Student: "Man, you a hater."

Me: "Haterade!  That's what I drink for breakfast!"

Student: "Thats too much hatin'."

I Has a Bucket!

At the beginning of the year we were given a new set of supplies in case of a disaster situation.

We were told to bring the bucket containing these supplies with us any time we locked down for a tornado or an intruder situation.

Our training was more of a listing of the objects inside the bucket, but as the objects were listed we slowly realized their purpose.  Duct tape, a tarp, and toilette paper....  "You gave us a poop bucket did you?"

Time Lord

Me: "You want a textbook?"

Student: "Yeah, I been waitin' on this for three four days."

Me: "What are you a time traveler?"

Student: "Well ya gotta do what ya gotta do."

Doin' too much

Student: "Wait, so I have to multiply 6 by 3x AND 10?  That is just too much."

Me: "Life is SO hard..."

Purse In a Management Position

Girl (to another student): "Did you just go through my purse?  You do not go through a pimp's purse!"