Cash Money

Student: "What is with this problem?  I keep getting fat stacks of numbers."

Me: "There is nothing wrong with fat stacks of numbers.  Some day when you are counting all your money you will say, 'I'm glad I paid attention in math class because now I can count these fat stacks of cash.'"

Another One of My Sayings

Student: "Do we really have to do this assignment?"

Me: "Well really you don't have to do anything you don't want to, but if you don't do this assignment it is going to be very easy for me to grade."

V-Day

*Students are reading off 'poems' that people have left on their facebook walls.*

"Roses are red
Violets are blue
Happy anniversary"

Dividing by Two Doesn't Work

Student: "I know that isn't me that stinks.  I had a whole shower this morning."

Me: "Instead of half a shower?"

Student: "Yeah"

Me: "If you take half a shower which half do you shower?  The left or the right?"

Who are you?

Student: "I just want you to know that I won't be here in class today."

Me: "I haven't seen you in a month.  How is today any different?"

Oh children...

My 'Leadership Skills' class went to an elementary school today to play with Legos with the first graders.

The first graders were better behaved that the majority of my freshman.

Skool

As I was going through my phone I found this picture from a few year back which manages to capture the entirety of my teaching experience.  I don't even remember who wrote it.